Dear GayCalgary,
The Imperial Sovereign Court of The Wild Rose continues to raise money for many charities as it does every year. This past year, as described in the August 2008 issue of GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine, we have been raising money to purchase special chairs for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of the Royal Alexandra Hospital. These special chairs will allow parents to hold the sickest and tiniest babies more often, sooner and for longer periods in hopes that one day they will get to go home with their mums and dads.
Today, April 1st, 2009, is the two year anniversary of the day my son, Andrew, passed away while being held by his mum in such a chair. In an emotional moment captured by Global Edmonton, I, on behalf of the ISCWR and my family, was proud to present the NICU with four chairs with the inscription “In celebration of the life of Andrew…through the generosity of the ISCWR...” upon them.
Often, when you donate money to a charity, it goes to a large organization and you do not have an opportunity to see what is actually accomplished with it. Here we see something tangible. And, I know that each pom pom, chocolate bar or shooter that is purchased, or donation made, or whatever it is that you do to support the ISCWR in Edmonton and the ISCCA in Calgary DOES have an impact. My son is with us today because he was held in such a chair on his most fragile of days when we almost lost him. Someday, I know in my heart that another child will leave the NICU with his/her own mum and dad that would not have otherwise, because they were able to be held in such a chair. Another child may fall asleep in their mum’s and dad’s arms in peace in one of those chairs. And these mums and dads will see my boy’s name on it. And they will see the ISCWR’s name on it. And wonder. And be grateful. And I will know exactly how they will feel…I’ve been there.
Thank you, my friends, my community for all of your support. I’m a humbled, yet proud Empress and dad today. I’m grateful to all of you. I hope you really do feel that what you are doing is good and makes a difference. I need you to believe me today...that it is and it does.

Most Sincerely,
H.M.I.S.M.
Marni Gras

Dear Editor,
In the March issue you published an anonymous letter to the editor attacking the recent Mardi Gras event put on by Different Strokes. While I did not attend the event so cannot respond to all of his complaints (although many of my friends said it was a great event) I do have to comment on a couple of points.
Firstly, why was this letter published anonymously? People having an opinion should stand proudly behind it and the media should be very hesitant to publish such letters without attaching a name to it. If this person is still hiding their sexuality and doesn’t wish to be exposed, I’m sure that if these problems really did exist at Mardi Gras, some of the hundreds in attendance more comfortable with their sexuality would be willing to expose them to your magazine.
As far as what charity the dance supports, it supports Different Strokes Swim Club, a non-profit organization! Just as AIDS Calgary events support AIDS Calgary, ARGRA supports ARGRA, Apollo supports Apollo etc etc. And the fact that this individual shows up late and wanted in free shows that he/she isn’t really interested in supporting charity anyway.

Sincerely,
Michael Leboldus

Dear GayCalgary,
I read the letter that an anonymous attendee wrote to your magazine about the Different Strokes Swim Club Mardi Gras Party- March 2009.
Firstly, it was disappointing to note that “GayCalgary Magazine”, did not make an appearance at the event to cover it. I understand that was because of some “misunderstandings”, on exclusive sponsorship between GayCalgary Magazine and the Different Strokes Executive. Nonetheless, it was disappointing to learn of this and that “You”, as a large media promoter within the gay community could not put aside your issues and cover the event. Just goes to show that you’re not impartial to what you cover and put in your magazine.
Secondly, I attended the event and spoke to a couple of the swim club members working the event, and contrary to your anonymous writer’s comments, I thought it was well put together. They had “excellent” and plenty of food, numerous door prizes their friends at Priape, Eagle, Outlooks to name a few, they had two manned efficient bars & reasonable prices. The rooms were decorated in top notch Mardi Gras fashion, the music was very house. Entrance was $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Where can you go today for that price, dance, and have a bite to eat? They had Aids Calgary and Apollo advertising displays.
Charging an entrance fee 45 minutes before closing isn’t such a bad thing. Can you attend a movie 45 minutes before it ends and expect to get in for free?
It was also very evident that numerous people from the Different Strokes Club were attending to matters as efficiently as they could, from bar ticket sales, coat check, to clean up of empty glasses plates etc.
In a time in our community when we have Limited number of avenues to get out and enjoy time socializing and having some fun it was really disappointing to see the lack of “Support” and Attendance by our fellow community members for the event. I guess about 275 people were there. A small number in comparison to other events like “Agra” dances.
This probably was one of the swim clubs last events they will try and sponsor as a result.
The effort and energy members put into this was certainly evident. Good Work Guys!
Not only was it a means to create awareness for the swim club, but also to fund raise, as they are non-profit and the club receives no funds from anywhere other than the swimmers who swim.
I hope you print this so that all the community can read and wonder why we don’t have events like other cities in Canada. Take Note Gay people in Calgary!

Sincerely
Bruce
Hi Bruce and Michael,
If you ask Pride Calgary whether we attended their Bottle Jive fundraiser on the same night, they will likewise tell you “no”. Usually I am responsible for covering Calgary events while Steve is away covering events in Edmonton, but I made the decision months in advance to join him at the Bearbash that same night in Edmonton - it was an event that I really wanted to attend. Up to the last minute, even while we were in Edmonton, we were trying to find someone to cover the Mardi Gras Dance and the Bottle Jive on our behalf back in Calgary, but none of our contacts were available or willing to attend. So sadly, as a result, neither event received coverage last month. However in situations like this, the event organizers are always encouraged to submit photos of their events if they can still be published in a timely fashion (and so long as they can vouche that the people in the photos are ok to be published). It wouldn’t have been too late had we received photos this month, but by the sounds of it, some people at the Mardi Gras Dance were already jumping to conclusions about our absence. Are we that taken for granted, that to miss an event is to say it must be for a reason? Come on people.
To be honest, I’m glad that both of you submitted an opposing point of view to Anonymous, as there are many sides to any story. There has been some kafuffle over the fact that we would print an anonymous letter in the first place. I should point out that the anonymous author was not anonymous to us. We contacted them to ask if they would be willing to step forward this month, but because they had legitimate reason to remain anonymous, they declined. Last month we did correspond with them further to assess whether the letter was just a bitchy pot-shot or a reasonable critique. From consulting others that attended the event, we made a judgement call that their observations were not entirely unreasonable. Criticism isn’t always an “attack” that needs to be extinguished – if you can see past what’s on the surface, it can be revealing of underlying problems that those closer to the event might have been too polite to tell you. For instance, the author’s misunderstanding about where the funds were going is perhaps a sign that the premise of the event isn’t immediately obvious to outsiders. And regarding the organization of the event – frankly the crowd has more eyes than the organizers do, so maybe there was a problem and those within the group were too busy to notice it. Or maybe this person just witnessed an isolated incident that formed their overall opinion of the night. There’s no point in getting so defensive, the people that really want to hurt you are the ones that see a potential problem and DON’T tell you.
On one hand I agree that if people have a valid opinion worth expressing, they should put their full, real name to it. On the other hand, unlike in straight publications, our community is too small to allow people to disappear into the crowd if they choose to express an opinion or provide criticism - who really wants to get verbally attacked while they’re out trying to have a good time? Also, we have to balance some pretty gray situations (like this one), and of course being a GLBT magazine there is always the concern people have of outing themselves. We have to think beyond the scope of the Mardi Gras Dance because our magazine is a concrete record that can’t be undone once it’s published, and it can turn up anywhere. Besides all of that, there’s only so much we can do to prevent someone from fabricating a name to hide their identity – which is just as bad if not worse than going in as Anonymous. At least we know for sure that Anonymous is hiding their identity, and not pretending to be someone they’re not.
Incidentally we did receive another letter to the editor that expressed similar objection to Michael, but ironically the author of this letter had to retract it because of fear that their own personal opinion would negatively impact the non-profit organization that they are involved with. Perhaps this exactly demonstrates why we must sometimes print anonymous letters – because many in the community have difficulty separating the people from the groups that they belong to. How else can they have a personal opinion?
Speaking of which, the E-mail address that Bruce used to submit his letter, I recognize as belonging to a member of the Different Strokes team. That might not matter if it wasn’t someone directly involved in the so-called “misunderstanding”. However I will give Bruce the benefit of the doubt.
The details of GayCalgary’s sponsorship are misrepresented in Bruce’s letter. Though they are really no business of the public, suffice it to say that we reached out to Different Strokes in a time of need, for what was termed a “make or break” fundraising event. GayCalgary offered Different Strokes a very generous sponsorship package that invited other publications to play fairly alongside of us by matching our commitment. Our sponsorship was accepted, but a member of the Different Strokes executive took it upon himself to go over the head of their designated sponsorship director, and sought to purposely violate the conditions of the agreement, with premeditated plans to cover it up as a misunderstanding or miscommunication within the group. GayCalgary declined to publish advertising from Different Strokes due to the severity of this breach of trust. That this board member would soil a deal with the only magazine directly targeting the Mardi Gras Dance’s immediate audience was indeed sad. The results were apparent from Bruce’s complaints of a less than stellar turnout to the event.
From Bruce’s letter, it is obvious there is some poison that needs to be cleared up. Thus, if anyone from the Different Strokes team wishes to challenge us on our summary of this situation, we will gladly provide a complete record of E-mail correspondence to back up every statement we have made. However for the general public, these details need not be revealed. We have no desire to hurt any of the good and honest people that are part of Different Strokes, several of whom we have to thank for looking out for us in this situation

Rob Diaz-Marino
GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine