Men Talk is a series of books compiled by former therapist Tim John Peterson. The recent book in the series – Gay Men Talk – takes several of the sexually related quotes from the other books and throws in a number of new ones. The topics covered run the gamut: homosexuality, bisexuality, coming out, oral sex, anal sex, S&M, incest, prostitution, and group sex just to name a few. Some quotes are funny, some are titillating, while other quotes are touching or very sad. Readers relate to them because they’ve had similar experiences in their lives. Yet be warned – you will also find quotes you will find disturbing or gross.
The idea behind the series is any man can pick up these books and discover there are others out there with similar thoughts, feelings, fears, pain and desires. Women can enjoy them as it allows a peek into the minds of men – drawing back the curtain on thoughts and feelings that men often keep to themselves and rarely share. Tim believes readers relate to the books "...because they see that others are experiencing similar thoughts, feelings sexual desires, struggles with family, partners, and children, questions about religion and the meaning of their life..."
Finding out what other men experience also throws a mirror up to yourself. As you work your way through the book, you will think "this person needs to learn to communicate, this person is a freak, this person is hilarious, what the hell is this guy’s problem?" The point is not to judge – it’s more to see what others think, what they’ve experienced. Whether you agree or disagree is in a sense, irrelevant. Tim added that "...from a philosophical perspective I take an experiential and nonjudgmental view of people and their lives and because of this I see them as perfect just the way they are. I let people live their lives and never push my agenda."
As many of the quotes deal with sex, I asked Tim if he thought that if our society was more open about sex and sexuality, people would openly discuss issues with their potential partners. His thoughts are that society seems much more open about sex and sexuality. The younger generation is clearly more sexualized due in part to internet porn, the focus on sex on mainstream TV shows and the impact of celebrity role models.
Yet having sex, knowing about sex doesn’t mean you know how to communicate about it. "Most people struggle with confrontation. We rarely if ever learn effective loving diplomatic ways to communicate in general – much less about our sexual needs with a partner. Most of us will avoid bringing up topic matter with a partner if we think it will hurt their feelings or stir feelings of inadequacy in them. We often feel uptight, scared and vulnerable when discussing sexual desires with a lover; especially if they are more offbeat." Or worse, if a man has to tell his wife he’s gay or bisexual – suddenly your life as you know it can end.
"For some, it is easier to keep such desires a secret and experience them solely as fantasies or through porn. Others will stuff their desires for a while, find it too limiting and eventually find partners they can be themselves with. This generally includes maintaining hidden relationships, anxiety and guilt. Honesty seems to be the best route in terms of being true to yourself but certainly not an easy one."
Gay Men Talk was published in June this year. The 3 main books, Men Talk, More Men Talk and Men Talk Again are available in soft cover and eBook format. The paperbacks are available through the publisher, Authorhouse.com as well as Amazon and BN.com. All of the other books are available as eBooks and can be purchased through Amazon, BN.com, LULU and Smashwords. There are also links to most of the sellers on Tim’s web site.