“Men at Work” by Alphamale Media, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Strangely the cover gives an impression that the porno is going to be about blue-collar construction workers. I picked it up because I thought I could make a wise crack about the numerous constructions sites adjoining the city block I live on (damn the fact that none are visible from my balcony).
The closest scene to this effect was the very first one, where electrician Darren and grease monkey Curt Rogers work on separate tasks in an underground boiler room. There is a tangible animal magnetism between the two as they exchange glances and try to continue going about their work. When Rogers bends over to check a pressure gauge right beside Darren, the randy electrician can’t keep his paws to himself. They share some steamy smooching, and reveal their many tattoos as they disrobe one another. Alone together, they have all the time they need to go through the whole gamut of foreplay.
My favorite scene was number 3, where two beefy business men played by Carlo Cox and Luca Falcini, take a diversion from their work. Cox is having trouble concentrating, so starts watching a porno on his computer to take his mind off things. Falcini notices his associate rubbing a bulge in his pants, and decides to wander over after Cox gives him an encouraging wink. Both men have goatees and shaved heads, making the scene reminiscent of something from an Yvon Goulet painting.
Check out the movie to see the remaining two sexy scenes in a leather store and a barber shop!
“Fucking with the Stars” by All Worlds Video, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Well I have to give them points for originality. I’ve watched “Dancing with the Stars” only once in my life, and only for a good reason: Joey Fatone. This porno mimics the reality TV format where a panel of celebrity judges observe and comment on our stars…fucking. This can be a bit weird if you’re trying to get your rocks off. The host is drag queen Coco LaChine, and one of the judges is Chi Chi Larue. As the contestants go through their routine, they show the judges’ reaction. There is a lot of talking; they interview the contestants before and after their routines, and afterward they each rate the porn stars from 1 to 10.
The first contestant is Kevin Brown, an all around good looking young guy…he’ll be more to my liking when he grows up though. He strips, pole dances, flirts with the judges, and is joined on the pimp-pad by Zackary Pierce to show off his partnering skills.
Next up and much more to my liking (as I bite my fist in excitement) is furry Mexican hunk Manuel Torres! He goes through the same solo routine as the last contestant, but meets up with cute puppy Derrick Hanson for some hot hot HOT action! Later on Luca DiCorso pairs off with another favorite, Arpad Miklos, and tattooed stud Derrick Vineyard has a go at Jamie Donovan.
A fun twist at the end of this video is that you can log on to the website and vote for your favorite stars, just like the real TV shows! Once you cast your vote, you get to see how the contestants are measuring up to one another.
“Erotikus” by Centurion Pictures, Courtesy of Priape
This DVD is the fourth edition of the Centurion Muscle series, so prepare yourself for some beefy men! The cast includes furry dawg Jake Deckard, black stallion Erik Hunter, and muscle daddies Shane Alexander, Brock Hunter, Brendan Davies, Xerxes, and Hank Dutch.
Shane Alexander and Xerxes are paired in the second scene, almost looking like a mirror image of one another. Alexander has a major tattoo across his back, both nipples pierced, a lock and chain around his neck, and some thick gauge earrings that I swear could double as PA’s. They start out with some kissing, nipple biting and pit licking, progressing to sucking and rimming. The body worship last for a pleasant eternity before they finally get some penetration happening; surprisingly Alexander is the bottom. If only that damn leather seat didn’t creak!
The next scene we have a three way between Hank Dutch, Erik Hunter and Brock Hunter…no relation. Erik emits manly growls as he simultaneously gets pounded and sucked.
If you want to see a tangle of big, hairy, sweaty muscled men then go out and buy this DVD already!
“Dangerous Island” by Cazzo Film, Courtesy of Priape
This German import is filmed against some beautiful scenery. A gay couple rides along steep mountain roads to a remote location looking out over the ocean. Thinking that they are alone, the two have sex and then relax for a while on a picnic blanket. But when one of them wanders off for a post-sex pee, he is violently kidnapped and drugged by a group of guys in army pants. His partner sees this happening and jumps on his Vespa to pursue them, but tragically takes a wrong turn and loses them.
Meanwhile a different couple drives out to get frisky in the mountains (though they get started in the car), and end up being invited into the remote mansion of a strange man in a wheelchair…the same mansion where the kidnapped man was taken. Something fishy is going on, and it’s not smegma!
This is a film of sex and murder. The men are mostly the young and hairless type with athletic builds – sadly the creepy guy in the wheelchair is the only one that was my type, though I felt guilty for watching the wheelchair sex. I know this film’s collection of studs will drive many people wild…if they can stomach the idea that not all of them survive.
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