Over this past year - more so since I began writing articles for GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine - I have noticed a trend. It is something has never really left persons living with HIV and AIDS, their partners, families and friends. It is the feeling of isolation, loneliness, being the only one(s) going through this: “How do I tell people?”, “I am so ashamed it happened to me!”, “Who do I have to tell?” The same list of fears that I went through 20 years ago are being brought to me time and time again in so many different areas of my HIV work and volunteering.

Those newly diagnosed have a number serious questions and concerns, such as the fear of exposing potential partners, current partners or spouses to HIV infection; telling friends, family and others that may need or not need to know about their infection. So there arises a need to find support, direction, or just a friendly ear from someone who has been through similar things. This is what I call “Peer Based Support”; where the support comes from within a safe place, to share emotional and life changing issues that come with living with a new diagnosis, long term living with HIV, the impact on life, friends and family. It is a place where persons living with HIV/AIDS can safely get together to share, learn, support and empower each other to live well and healthy.

I have for some time now been part of the HIV Peer Support Group, a group of HIV positive individuals trained in counseling and support, who assist the newly diagnosed to deal with some of the complexities of living with HIV. This group was my first true connection to other people living with HIV – they sought to help not only those in the same situation, but also their family, partners, friends, and even co workers. I wish this group had existed when I was first diagnosed, to have someone there to help me go through all the chaos that began in my life after finding out I was HIV positive. My diagnosis came at a time when treatment options were limited and life expectancy was a maximum of 5 years.

It was difficult having a life without others to talk to about the things that affected me emotionally and spiritually. At the time, I could not bring myself to share my fears with my partner or my friends, and most especially my family, who I should have felt most able to talk to. Oh the time I wasted bottling my anxiety - I am sure it was a catalyst for my declining health before I recovered and reformed to a better way of living these 12 years later. I believe it was also in that recovery and disclosure to family and friends about my illness that I was lead into this ongoing “Peer Based Volunteerism” and able to discover my own voice.

In this last year I have put myself forward in areas where I can be involved with other persons living with HIV, to let them know that there are supports out there for them to take advantage of, so that they do not have to do it alone. There are the HIV Peer Support Group, AIDS Calgary Lunch and Coffee Connection Programs, Southern Alberta Clinic Programs, and many more. I have also made new connections with an online group for people living with HIV, and a group for sero-discordant couples (where one is HIV positive, and the other is not). This will become a growing population as the rates of HIV infection in Alberta continue to rise (along with other STIs, at twice national rates).

The Alberta Positive Voices Conference, happening March 13th to 15th, is an opportunity for HIV positive Albertans to get together for workshop presentations, skill building opportunities and a chance to get to share our knowledge and learn from others living with HIV from all over Alberta. This is an all inclusive scholarship weekend, with the application deadline now extended to February 15th, 2009. We will continue to review applications until the conference has filled and we will also be keeping a cancelation list for last minute changes. If you are interested in attending, send your applications in now!

This Biannual Conference is presented by the Alberta Positive Voices Conference Advisory Committee in a partnership with AIDS Calgary, the Alberta Community Council on HIV (ACCH), The ACCH HIV Committee and the Alberta Community HIV Fund (ACHF).

For more information on this conference and how to get your scholarship application in for consideration by the deadline, contact one of the following committee members, your local community AIDS Service Organization or visit AIDS Calgary’s website at www.aidscalgary.org. Please include “APVC” in your email subject lines to assist in processing all applications.

Calgary:

Mark Randall: bakrboy@hotmail.com

Patty Fraser: pmfraser@hotmail.com

Edmonton:

Dolan Badger: dolanbadger@yahoo.com

Curtis Brandston: curtispeersupport@gmail.com

Lethbridge:

Brent Lewandowski: blewandoski@hotmail.com

If you have questions or concerns about living with HIV/AIDS, assisting those living with HIV/AIDS or you have ideas and suggestions for future articles related to HIV/AIDS please forward them to m.randall@gaycalgary.com.