Kinky, funny, charming and talented. The Wet Spots, Cass King and John
Woods are Canada’s top bisexual married musical sex comedy act. Ok, they are likely Canada’s only bisexual married musical sex comedy act, but that doesn’t take away from their talent.
Exploding onto stage like a hypnotic whale, Woods and King seem to shock the audience by breaking out in the tender, jazzy YouTube video smash Do You Take It?, about a blossoming relationship with an important question to be asked - do you take it in the ass? The duo mixes in very raunchy comedy with songs like the Hawaiian ditty Labia Limbo, and the song Texas Annie about an outlaw smuggling dildos into Texas - one of the seven states where it is illegal to buy sex toys. Seeing Cass in full-on glam getup screaming at an audience member to spank her (harder) is an image that will definitely linger in your mind.
What’s remarkable is how this act is balanced by her incredible voice, which seamlessly changes genres from blues to country to German cabaret-style song.
Woods and Cass recently sat down with GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine for lunch before a show at Yuk Yuk’s comedy club. Casually clad in shirts and jeans, the duo spoke about a show that has been performed in front of Bikers, Shriners, and college cafeterias as well as at events like the first queer arts festival in South Africa and headlining pride gigs. With a name like “The Wet Spots” it should be fairly evident what patrons are getting into, but sometimes the show catches audience members off guard.
“It happens all the time, especially if we are booked on a multi-act bill. It’s funny because we come from this place where we write where nothing is taboo, but these are just pretty Burt Bacharac love songs. That is really what we try to put out there. But what happens when there are people in the audience who just aren’t having it, is that there is this antagonistic dynamic that comes up and we have to work really hard to just keep giving the love,” King said.
“It is challenging because there are people sitting there shooting daggers at you, and you can see it in their faces. Sometimes we will get a couple sitting right at the front of the stage and he is really upset about it and she is laughing her ass off. They can’t leave because she is having a good time and he hates our guts. It is really interesting to watch this dynamic of how humans behave when they are faced with something they don’t like. As long as people kind of know what they are coming for, or what they are going to get, its fine.”
The show does get labeled Triple-X, although it doesn’t really apply.
“Any 14 year old that has ever clicked their mouse knows we aren’t triple-x. I would hazard a guess that in any audience that we would play for, most of the people…have actually seen triple X pornography everywhere,” said Woods.
“To an extent I think whether you are queer or straight or whatever, pornography is something that the taboos around it are nearly as strong as they were even ten years ago, because of the accessibility. It’s not all that threatening. What I find interesting is when people who are maybe comfortable watching hardcore images get more threatened by songs about the same thing…. Like a song about threesomes - sometimes people are more freaked out by the song then actually watching three people get it on in porn. I think it’s [the prospect of] discussing it publicly. We all tend to think of our sexuality as being very private things and here we are busting the taboo of discussing it in public.”
It is an interesting dynamic that is presented. The audience at the show we attended did seem kind of confused when the pair announcing their marriage, to which King comments “but you’re thinking [my husband] looks like a fag”. Cass later flirted with a girl in the audience, saying “you can get off in 11 minutes? I love girls like you because I can get you off and we’d still have time for some CSI!”
“I think it is important for bisexuals to out themselves because otherwise there is invisibility being in a het’ couple. Above and beyond that, the other layer to the issue is that if you out yourself as bisexual, particularly if you are in a coupled relationship, the question is raised of ‘how do you make that work?’ …That brings about questions of monogamy vs. polyamory and that opens a whole big kettle,” explained Woods.
Being bisexual means that they have likely had a great variety of different sexual experiences. It’s something that they take with them when creating material.
“We do write from reality, there have been times when we have rolled over after finishing what we were doing and said something. We have this country & western song called ‘I’m sweaty and stinky and covered in lube’, and that is something that I actually said once. ...If people can relate, that is funny. We haven’t written about some of the crazy stuff we have done because people wouldn’t relate to it,” said King.
It is remarkable that the pair is able to balance their personal and professional life. Married in 2003, they don’t have a specific answer as to how the relationship works.
“We used to do a lot of drugs,” Woods quipped. Cass answered a little more seriously. “It is a hard question because we still don’t really have that worked out. Some days everything works out and it is really easy, and other days…you have to stop working so you can work out your personal stuff and we kill each other. It’s not perfect, it’s a balancing act. The good news is we get to talk about our act with each other, most comedian spouses won’t allow that.”
The internet has been a vital part of the success of The wet Spots. The video for “do you take it” has had more than 2.5 million downloads on YouTube.
“We started to find that a lot of the really big opportunities were rolling in outside of Canada after awhile. Making the video created a global awareness about the act - what’s wonderful about the whole viral YouTube thing. Back in the day if you had a video on TV, and say a million people were watching that program, if you were really mainstream maybe a quarter of those people liked it. If you are a crazy polysexual sex comedy duo instead of a quarter it would be maybe 1% of those watching,” explained Woods.
“When it is on YouTube, the 1% that like it send the link on to their friends, who send it on to theirs, etc. It grows and becomes a self selecting thing - it is always there. Making the video and having it reach that critical mass of numbers…it created this amazing thing and got to a chunk of people that would like it. …Would we be able to do what we do without it? Yes but I don’t think it would have the reach.”

The Wet Spots
Album “Hello Kinky” now available
www.wetspotsmusic.com
www.yukyuks.com