When I was in my late teens, I went on holidays with my dad to Spain to visit family, attend a wedding, and see some of the sights that were lost on me from my previous visits as a child. I have quite a few cousins in the country, so we travelled amongst a number of cities where different family members were staying.
My memory is a bit hazy so bare with me. As we were travelling outside of Seville, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, my dad stopped the car by a ticket booth at a turnoff on the side of the road. The landscape was very hot and dry, and the yellow colour of the soil seemed to tint everything a similar colour. He spoke with the man at the booth as if he knew him, paid an admission fee, and retrieved me from the car.
Walking along the designated path, it didn’t take me long to see the walls of some stone ruins carved into the valley ahead – a gigantic Roman coliseum with rows upon rows of stone benches leading down to the centre arena, with some ragged-looking columns still standing, as if set up to be stepping stones over the level below. As we descended the steps, I could see tunnels feeding to the arena and I was dying to go down to explore. My dad lead the way to the passageway, located about half way down the stone benches on one side of the coliseum, however it had been blocked off by the caretakers of the ruins. In fact, as we explored, we found several other areas that were no longer accessible to the general public because of natural degradation (or purposeful vandalism) making it too dangerous to enter.
My dad explained to me that when he was a child, this ancient Roman building was basically his playground. He was able to wander freely throughout, dangerous or not. I could tell he felt irritated to some degree that others could step in and regulate away his ability to return and visit freely again, to share it with me, his son. But then again, judging by the utterly disrespectful things that vandals had done to this place since then, it was understandable that this was necessary in order to preserve the ruins, and to take away the temptation for people to do something stupid that may result in them getting hurt.
Living in the city for my whole life, I have to admit I felt pretty jealous of my dad for having a special place like this. To this day there have been times when I felt that I needed to be alone, to get far away from people, to eliminate even the anticipation of encountering someone. I never had a place quite like this, though I certainly yearned for one.
I think solitude is vital for understanding the pure essence of yourself, something that is difficult to isolate when you are under social pressures and in the presence of others. It is a chance to be 100% yourself - above and beyond being out of the closet – and not a reflection in any way of anyone around you. It is often described as the spiritual experience of communing with nature, and it can be either freeing or terrifying, depending on where you are in your life. Terrifying for those who draw their strength and identity from the people around them - their clique, their circle of friends – or define themselves by the material things that they like and dislike; to be so completely alone and away from everything, lays bare a person they are not familiar with, and that they may not like. Nevertheless, having the opportunity to meet that person can only make one stronger inside. The world might be a better place if only more of us could understand ourselves in this way.
But solitude is becoming increasingly difficult to find these days, especially in the urban lifestyle – in fact, the only places I’ve ever truly found it have been away from the city setting altogether. In the city, if you encounter someone hanging out in the bushes or lurking in a dark alley, your main concern is their motivation for being there, and maliciousness is first to mind. In most cases you’re probably right for being apprehensive - there are a lot of people who need to get away from others while getting up to no good. However, even a visit to the mountains brings no reprieve when the hiking trails and campsites are flooded with tourists and other solitude seekers – it certainly comes close, but you’re still not quite there.
It’s almost inevitable that you will have to break the rules and wander from the beaten path, raise suspicion in those who may see you departing from it, in order to find a place that is truly away from everyone and everything that influences you. I’m a stickler for the rules, but that seems wrong to me, to be forbidden from seeking this place because others before you may have misbehaved or hurt themselves in its pursuit. That may be who they were, but it is not necessarily who you are. Certainly heed the warnings when departing safety by being prepared, but don’t let those warnings discourage you altogether from exploring.
What amazes me is that my dad allowed me to criticize and resent him at times for this – why couldn’t he just have explained to me why it was necessary to break some of those rules? I could have spent less time resisting, and more time appreciating the experience. It makes perfect sense to me now that the remaining treasures in this world can be found in places where the fewest people have looked.
But perhaps it’s one of those life lessons that has no shortcut - perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to understand it until I had the opportunity to experience it for myself. Perhaps this is the ultimate reason why parents bring their children, often kicking and screaming, on those hunting, fishing, and camping trips: for an appreciation of nature, and more importantly, oneself in relation.
Rainbows, Cowboys and Sunburns
In Alberta, June is one month in particular when much of the gay community is drawn out for their obligatory (over)exposure to the sun. Demonstratively, drag queen Vanity Fair commented that after Edmonton Pride, she could pick out all the homos in the waiting room at the Doctor’s office by their gleaming red sunburns. It seems that those few days of tender and peeling skin (not to mention the risk of cancer) are worth it for the resulting tan – a yearly dose of colour for the night-owl’s pallid complexion.
Being of Hispanic heritage I was quite surprised, when I took my shirt off during Edmonton Pride, how ghostly white my own skin had become. With no vacations to sunny places, it seemed that I too had become something of a cave-dweller over the past year. So, while I videotaped the show at the Edmonton Pride Street Festival, I too threw caution to the wind in order to stimulate that melanin. But I didn’t let myself burn too badly, and it brought my natural colour back right quick.
The turnout for the Parade and Street Festival was fantastic – most likely better than what we’ve seen in previous years. But the talk of the town this year had to be the PURE Pride Dance that occurred underneath the City Centre mall complex, in a private parkade. The vast concrete space was transformed into an impressive dance venue with stages, lights, couches, tables, bars, and filled with over 1000 people. The bathroom area near the entrance consisted of 2 walls lined with a total of about 20 outhouses, with 2 hand wash stations – at any given time, this area was a cacophony of the spring-loaded plastic doors slamming. Throughout the night there were DJs, stage performances by Mark Sheppard, and appearances by Steven Daigle and Johnny Hazzard. We got our chance to finally meet Steven (our June cover) in person the night before at FLASH.
For Pride, FLASH flew out Derrick Barry the Britney Speers impersonator who appeared on America’s Got Talent. Unfortunately Canada Customs decided to withhold all of his drag clothes, making it impossible for him to perform once he got here. Nevertheless he got up on stage at the PURE Pride Dance and sung for a bit – the vocal impression was uncanny, and even out of drag, you could see the resemblance.
Edmonton Pride lasted a whole week, and so we drove out for both weekends. The second time around, we headed up on my birthday to attend another unique event, on the appropriately named Edmonton Queen Riverboat. People danced and drank above and below deck as the boat made its way up and down the North Saskatchewan River.
Following that we headed over to Woody’s for the Gay Edmonton Pageant, which had the bar more packed than I have ever seen it, despite the last minute move from Boots due to its closure. In fact, it was a popular topic of conversation how people missed the Boots space already. The drag queens commented that they felt sorry for me having to videotape them on my birthday, but after that work was done, I was able to enjoy myself for the rest of the night.
After a single weekend’s reprieve, it was time for the Rodeo! Uncle Ben’s out of Red Deer spoiled us once again with an absolutely fantastic luxury RV at a great price. The festivities started on Thursday this year – a day for us to relax and enjoy ourselves before getting into the thick of things. As we have done for the past several years, we once again produced photographic and video presentations of the day’s events at the evening dances, which were very well received by attendees.
Accomplishing this with such a quick turnaround is no easy task, but I have to say that ARGRA made our lives a lot easier with the extra support and consideration they gave us this year. For instance, they gave us access to one of the VIP boxes in the grandstands where we were sheltered from the sun and wind while we videotaped the rodeo – it even had a fridge for us to store food and water (and alcohol that we never got to drink). The people movers and volunteers on golf carts saved us the strain of carrying heavy equipment the distance to and from the venues. Never mind the fact that our banners and magazines were so widely seen that we didn’t have to feel concerned that we couldn’t be present at our table in the retail tent to represent ourselves. With all that, things didn’t feel like such a struggle, and the weekend was a lot less stress than it has been for us in previous years.
The attendance in the grandstands didn’t seem as strong as they were for 2009, but the evening dances were absolutely slammed with people coming out of the woodwork. With all the places we had to be, there were many people that we knew in attendance that we didn’t bump into even once over the weekend. In fact, we sadly didn’t even get the opportunity to look around the overflow camping grounds where some interesting parties were reportedly going on.
Steve and I escaped this outdoor event without any painful sunburns, and bam, right back into press for this edition. I’m looking forward to next week for a proper rest!
The Winds of Change, Part 2
In last month’s editorial I spoke about some of the factors contributing to an overall shift in the face our community. Over the course of the past month there have been even more things happening, though many are not yet ready for us to talk about publicly. So I’ll tell some stories now, and save the rest for another day.
If you recall, several months ago we featured “Name That Bar” ads. Though we knew who was behind it the whole time, we kept our mouths shut so that they could gather the unbiased information that they were seeking. Of course they later revealed themselves as Money Pennies seeking to rebrand. Owner Jason Wheeler had kept the name of the bar from the days when Lorrie and Michele owned it, but he explained to us one day that he felt it was time to shed that legacy and make the business truly his own. Jason finally launched the new name last month for his third anniversary of ownership. Sadly Steve and I had to be up in Edmonton on the day of the 12th, but we received word through the grapevine that FAB was the new name, and stopped by to see for ourselves when we were back in town.
During the rodeo, I saw a great number of people wandering the grounds with “Hello, my name is HOMO” stickers on them. While they made for cute conversation points, we knew that they were part of a marketing blitz for the new dance club in Calgary. The people behind it have remained very secretive about certain information. We’re told the name and opening date of the club are planned, but not yet public knowledge. On the other hand, details such as the address, and the people involved, have been released to us. So while we have taken a stance of it’ll open when it opens, it seems pretty certain to us that there will definitely be a “new face in town”.
June 2010
The month started off with the Fairy Tales Happily Ever After Closing Gala and dance at the Marquee Room, sponsored by yours truly, GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine. Festival and Programming Director, Jessica Dollard, insisted that this event be an opportunity for Steve and I to relax and enjoy the fruits of our work supporting this year’s film festival, more than ever. But inevitably, duty called and I had to take off for Edmonton, yet Steve was able to stay behind and enjoy the party. From what Steve tells me, it was extremely well attended, and definitely the place to be that night.
As is the case every year, there were a number of films that we wanted to see but had to miss because of our press deadline. However, a few days after the festival wrapped up and we were picking up our banners, Jessica was kind enough to lend us some of those films from their DVD library (also available to members of Fairy Tales). I got to see the hilarious closing gala film, Violet Tendencies, and the Peruvian tear-jerker, Contracorriente (Undertow).
Meanwhile in Edmonton I visited Prism for their 2nd anniversary under the ownership of Deb and Tracy. Also on my task list was dealing with stocking magazines at the other bars, so sadly I showed up at Prism first too early, and then too late to hit the big rush of people. I guess the girls come out to party on a different schedule than what I’m used to. But aside from taking photos, I got a delicious Smokey on a bun, and great conversation with some of the girls. A good night, all in all.
In fact, I have to say we did a great deal of mingling with the women this month, as we made the rounds to the Womonspace Dance during Pride in Edmonton (the doorman was wearing some rockin’ pants), and the Girlsgroove Dance at the Big Rock Brewery here in Calgary. Though many of these events are predominantly attended by women, or explicitly designated women only, we appreciate how friendly and welcoming they are to see us – though we are men, we never feel like we are intruding.
This Month
July is usually a quiet month for LGBT community events because we are so busy with more mainstream spectacles like the Calgary Stampede, Capital Ex, and the Calgary Fringe Festival. As a lady of the night once, so eloquently put it to us, as we tried our best to ignore her enroute to the Stampede, “This time of year people just want to crawl into a hole...like me!”
Hooker innuendoes aside, the Western Canadian Pride Festival is a great way to get away from the city while still enjoying the company of gay friends. Look for their ad in this edition.
And if you’re looking for more things to do, as always the GayCalgary.com Events Calendar is your best resource for event information across Alberta.
Pride Guide and August Edition
This year, the August edition of GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine will contain the Official Pride Calgary Pride Guide inserted as a separate booklet! This booklet is being produced by Pride Calgary’s own designers (ParallelProductions.ca), containing sponsor advertising, and a special version of the GayCalgary Community Map. This map shows the parade route and highlights LGBT venues, official Pride venues, and the locations of other sponsoring and supporting businesses.
So don’t miss all the official information about September’s Pride festivities, only in the August 2010 edition of GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine!
