This November, in conjunction with Domestic Violence Awareness Month, The Alliance to End Violence will be facilitating The Second Closet: An Open Dialogue on Same-Sex Domestic Violence. This video and panel discussion will take place at Club Sapien from 6pm to 9pm on November 4th.

According to Registered Psychologist and same-sex domestic violence expert Jane Oxenbury, M.Ed., “same-sex violence is a growing concern and it is even more challenging because of society’s ever present stigma regarding gay and lesbian couples. On average, 25-33 percent off all gay and lesbian relationships involve domestic violence, a statistic which is similar to the heterosexual statistic in Canada of 29 percent. Domestic violence does not discriminate on who it touches.”

Domestic abuse is often denied, excused, or overlooked. Officially defined as “occurring when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person,” domestic abuse knows no boundaries. Women tend to be the most affected, however a growing number of men are also experiencing domestic abuse, particularly in the queer community.

The Alliance to End Violence works hard to provide Calgary with a resource centre for family and sexual violence. They work with more than 50 community partners to make sure that all services are accurate, appropriate, and up-to-date.

Oxenbury speaks favorably of this organization founded in 1996. “The Alliance to End Violence is an umbrella organization that works with agencies in Calgary that deal with Domestic Violence, houses a resource library for service providers and creates opportunities to train and educate others about this area.”

This service is crucial as more than half of Albertan women, over that age of 16 experience domestic abuse, yet only a small percentage of abuse victims report it. In 2008, CPS responded to 13,496 domestic violence calls.

The Alliance to End Violence can help abuse victims in a variety of ways. It addresses training opportunities for front line staff, assures victims do not slip through the cracks, and educates and informs the public on family and sexual violence.

Now is as good a time as any to discuss same-sex domestic abuse. “There is never one best time to discuss same-sex domestic violence. It is, and has been, and ongoing issue for the LGBT communities for a long time. In the past several years we have been focusing on training service providers to deal with it and now we need to raise the awareness in the communities themselves. The services are ready to help, now let’s bring the issue out of the closet in the family,” states Oxenbury.

It is crucial that this topic be discussed in an open and safe space. The panel at Club Sapien will consist of Oxenbury, a representative from Miscellaneous Youth, Deb Tomlinson from Connect (an organization that links people to the services they need), Mark Randall from the AIDS Calgary HEAT Program, and an individual who has been a victim of this abuse. There will also be resource material, a short video, music and mingling.

Make some time to check this out, because a better awareness and understanding of same-sex domestic abuse is beneficial to all of us.