A gay man born and raised in Alberta will unquestionably face assumptions about the so-called gay experience because of where he lives. Environment is a huge factor in who we are because we often define ourselves in relationship to our surroundings – our culture. It would be interesting to any Albertan who identifies as a minority to see how the same minority culture can function in other places around the world. Such a situation can expose unseen assumptions about oneself and one’s sense of community here at home.
The name “Richard Newman” will evoke different ideas in people from the two very different parts of the world where he is known. Richard was raised in Alberta, but born in the United Kingdom, where he has lived for the last ten years. It was in this time that Richard participated in the British version of well-known television series, Big Brother, achieving no small amount of celebrity status. It was my pleasure to meet Richard recently, and ask him a few questions about his past in Edmonton, and his present in London.
Q Previously to your experience on Big Brother, had you been to London or any other foreign city for an extended period of time? How did the experience of affect you, and how did it make you feel about being from Alberta?
A: Well I grew up In Edmonton to British parents. I left Edmonton for London almost 11 years ago and previous to that I hadn’t really traveled abroad other than the occasional drive across to the United States. I can remember the moment I arrived in London, my aunt and uncle had picked me up from Heathrow airport, we drove through the city. I was glued to the window. Everything was different, the architecture, the fashion, the accents, and the overall atmosphere. London is very tight, everything and everyone is pushed so close together. Alberta is the complete opposite - it’s all about space. Huge amounts of space between roads, houses and people; space between gay men and the rest of society. There have always been moments in London when I miss all of that space. However being back in Edmonton has made me realize it just creates distance, and I don’t like being distant from things and people.
Q What were some of the differences between the gay men you met in the UK and the gay men you had met in Alberta? To what would you attribute these differences?
A: Culture is an important part of who we are and most people only know one culture. …I think when It comes to British men there’s this myth that they are all skinny, pale and have bad teeth, when in actuality they’re more James Bond than Austin Powers. British men are less confrontational, something I don’t like; they’re more about being reserved and proud. But they are also very quick witted, charming and have orgasmic accents. They tend to be far more open about their sexuality. As a country the UK is small, but its gay population is huge, and very cosmopolitan. Cities like London, Brighton, Manchester, Edinburgh and Birmingham are close enough for most gay men and lesbian women to venture into from neighboring small towns and villages. The British have such a great attitude towards gay men and women in this country. Gay is seen as cool, and I put a lot of that down to the fact that gay men and women are visible in the media. When I first arrived I couldn’t get over how many gay men were on TV presenting, and how popular they were with the over all public. More fascinating was the fact that they were blatantly open about there sexuality, flirting with male guests and using sexual innuendo. For a boy from Edmonton this was a huge awakening. These men and women were role models - ones I never had growing up in Alberta. My memories of growing up and homosexuality in the media and popular culture were that it was a joke, something of disgust. I often remember sitting with mates in a cinema watching those Police Academy films and dreading the Blue Oyster scenes, as I knew the laughs and jeers were directed at me. American films still treat homosexuality in this way. Gay men and women need to be more visible in the media and not just in a clinical, safe Will & Grace kind of way. I mean when is Much Music going to have an openly gay presenter? Do we still not have one? Mind you, how wonderful would it be to see some leather clad muscle man on Much Music making fisting references as he interviewed some of America’s top rappers?
Q: After returning from your experience abroad, in what ways did Alberta seem different from when you left? What do you miss about the UK, and what, if anything, do you miss from Alberta while you are there?
A: Alberta hasn’t changed. More condos have popped up, but attitudes are still the same. I think most gay men here can’t really be themselves. Alberta is very much a masculanized culture. It’s all about the fuckin’ pick up truck! The gay communities here are far too small, and are overpowered by the heterosexual redneck sitting in an Earl’s restaurant, wearing his Oilers jersey, with his baseball cap turned backwards eating his nachos & hot wings. …I was out one night with friends at the Fringe and noticed in every bar we went to, the men herd the women into corners; they surround them like some sort of vulnerable pray. I found it odd and somewhat intimidating - I think these levels of machoism have had an impact on Alberta’s gay scene. I spent a night at Buddy’s and The Roost and I don’t think I saw any kissing or sordid dance floor action. Where are the dark rooms and the booze fueled pool parties? I suppose I was just used to London’s “one big playground” attitude. …I suppose I take it for granted that in London I have Soho, an entire gay village bigger than Edmonton’s Whyte Avenue, lined with gay bars, clubs, shops and restaurants where gay men and women of all types can come together. While bars and clubs like Buddy’s and The Roost also offer this, they are not out on view where all of society can see them. I often remember Edmonton’ s pride marches as being that one day when gay men can shout and scream who they are. Then for the other 364 days they retreat back into the windowless bars in the downtown core. It shouldn’t be like that. Pride marches are about celebration and pageantry in London. In small cities and towns they become a political statement, a holler back to protesters; advice to all the boys and girls who participate in next year’s marches across Alberta. Do what the London boys do: Arm yourself with those giant uzi water guns and when you turn that corner where they stand - hose the bastards down!
It’s your day, not theirs.
Q: Do you feel there is anything in common between the gay men in such radically different areas as Alberta and London?
A: Well we all have the ability to love and be loved. We have that in common, no matter what city, culture, class or age we come from. The moment we are denied our sexuality by either ourselves or others is the moment our right to love is taken away. Sexuality is incorporated in every aspect of a person’s life, from conversations at work or down at the pub, from advertising to media. We are constantly exposed to the love and sex of others, and the majority of the time it’s heterosexual. Why should gay men and women not be able to have the same rights of conversation and visibility? That’s why I believe it is important to say, “I’m gay and I’m proud of being gay”. Many men and women here in Alberta are sadly still very uncomfortable with that statement. Walk down London’s Old Compton Street in the heart of Soho and you’ll see that statement screams out of every bar and discotheque. Visibility and conversations about our sexuality are more common…
Q: If you could put any idea in the minds of gay men in Alberta, what would it be?
A: Celebrate your pride 365 days of the year. Just be yourself and look out for each other, we’re all in this together.
Q: What comes to mind when you think of Alberta?
* That’s a great question and a tough one to answer. I was constantly bullied throughout Junior High in Edmonton because of my sexuality, so at times I often think of Alberta as this redneck province that would not accept me because of who I was. In some ways I was forced out of my home, but then I’m a believer of focusing on the positive. So for me Alberta will always be this beautiful landscape with long sunset drives down to Calgary with Jann Arden on the radio.
It’ll always be home.
Richard Newman presents two shows on Gaydar Radio - www.gaydarradio.com - Every Saturday & Sunday from 10pm to 1 pm (British time).
Photos by Paul Schnaars
