Yeehaw! My trusty assistant T and I jump on an early Friday morning flight to the biggest to-do at the top of August: Vancouver Pride 2007! This year we decided to treat ourselves and stay west side of Denman at the historic Sylvia Hotel. The beach is a stumble away from their front door, the to-die-for spectacular grand finale of the fireworks competition happens directly in front of the hotel on Saturday night. The 29th Vancouver Pride Parade on Sunday kicks off only a half a block away, so we are good to go!
As we land in the city of too much fun, we are graciously greeted one more time by the owner of Queen’s Limo Service, Kerry Grant, known to most in Calgary as our city’s Ms. Gay 5 Gale Force. As we throw our gear into the limo, our phone starts ringing. Gale laughs and welcomes us back, saying that everyone has been waiting for us two ‘cuz quite frankly the rest of Calgary, never mind Alberta and all of Canada has got the party started here without us!
You gotta love that because when you get to Vancouver Pride, the top notch people are from Calgary. The MC for the parade is Joan E. (Robert Kaiser) from Calgary, and the court that represents Vancouver to the world, has numerous members on their board who are originally from Calgary (never mind one of our favorites Emperor Glen). But, I will come back to this in a bit.
As always, both of us love kicking off Vancouver Pride with the women’s cruise, lovingly produced and put together by one of my dearest friends, CREMA! She puts on the wildest cruise - totally packed stern to bow, starboard to port. We didn’t win the motorbike prize, however the greatest gift was when I turned around and bumped right into the infamous Marilyn O. For those wondering, not only was she the number one agent for all the top, hard, hot male exotic dancers, (ie. Richard Richards), but she also reigned as Crown Prince with Emperor Crema, Vancouver’s first lesbian Emperor. Not to mention she was Crown Prince for both Empress’ Myria Le Noir, and the perennial favorite of all time Mama Karen. “Oh!” how we love Marilyn O.
As we return to dock with grins from ear to ear, T and I jump into our limo, laugh and say “This is only Friday!”
Saturday, I was determined to spend some holiday beach time. Keep in mind, my friends, that I’m out with cruisy “T” who is looking forward to a day without work - playtime only. So I get up early, enjoy a decadent breakfast overlooking the beach, slink back to deliver breakfast for T when he awakes, grab my beach gear and jet. I find my own piece of prime beach property on English Bay and settle in for a day of sun, ocean and relaxation. Or so I thought!
The term “Calgary Stampede” took on a whole new meaning for me, the idiot who brought her cell phone! The first call was from one of Calgary’s favorites, Kiwi!
K: “Where are you?”
LH: “On the beach in front of the hotel, sun tanning, watching the set up for the fireworks.”
She is on her way. I guess even T got tired of having his head on a swivel, cruising all of the hotties. Together they swish, saunter and sashay, towards me; Kiwi has a bevy of Greek food (go figure) and T with a vodka on the rocks in proper glasses. Now, I feel like a queen!
Cruising the seawall, T suddenly turns and yells. “Hi Mark!” with a wave, and there he is - Mark Tewksbury, Grand Marshal for Vancouver’s Pride Parade (also from Calgary) out for a jog. He stops to say “Hey” to both Kiwi and T, and promises me a moment of his time the following day during the Parade!
I enjoyed the most sensational fireworks grand finale to date with a list of my favorites from Calgary that would make you howl. Just to let ya know, Canada won! Who would have guessed that after a day of fun in the sun, cocktails, friends and fireworks, both me and cruisy T called it quits and shut down for the night. The Main Event is yet to come!
Sunday morning as I wake, T surprises me with breakfast, saying “It’s Showtime!” In no time we’re at Vancouver Pride Parade 2007, where MC Joan E, actor and entertainer extraordinaire welcomes and entertains all 380,000 spectators. It explodes, the dykes on bikes leading over 140 floats, giving a whole new meaning to “Festive!”
My favorite float was definitely NOT the ugly naked guys. I kept thinking, looks like a cock…only smaller. Like, what would you do with that, put it under your pillow and smoke it in the morning? And wrinkled beyond belief, all I wanted to do was “iron” them. No, my favorite goes to Mr. Mark Tewksbury who stops his parade vehicle and says “Hey Linda, did you enjoy the beach yesterday?” You bet I did, but not as much as the Cruise after the Parade.
Denim and leather and cowboys, oh my! Now cruisy T gets to shake the hand that is Cruisy T: Randy Newburg, owner of Cruisy T Productions. And what a party he throws, bringing locals and tourists from all over the world to that great city during pride. As one guy on the ship said to me “I just flew in from Toronto, because even though I’ve been to Montreal and Toronto’s Pride, they can’t give you this: the Ocean!”
DJ Uncle Johnny played the most danceable party tunes, while Pol poured the cocktails and whispered in my ear, “Don’t forget, it’s Lola’s birthday!.” So once the ship docks, we go off to the Odyssey. There’s DJ Jules in bombastic drag, rockin’ the house. The patio is packed with Lola’s reigning court, with a show in store for us. Once again, Joan E is involved. Now, really, she’s got to be the hardest working _____ in showbiz. Carlotta Girrrllll is fabulous and quite flexible too, if I may say. Joan E goes into Amy Winehouse’s, Rehab song, chorusing “No, no no!”
On that note I realize it is time to go home. T and I both agree that every Vancouver Pride we feel like little kids going there, but end up tired enough to be our age coming back. But that’s just a View from a Broad.
