Okay, so with Bear Bash coming up at the end of this month, I was told to choose pornos appropriately. “Get ones with hairy guys in it,” you say? Bend my rubber arm…I never needed an excuse before!

“Muscle Bear Motel” by Butch Bear, Courtesy of Priape
This porno was a recommendation from the BuBu Bear guys after I expressed an interest in Bo Ladashevska, the hairy muscular guy that appeared in the recent Priape Leather catalogue. Bo won first place at the International Mr. Leather 2006 competition, and I narrowly missed meeting him at the Eagle on Halloween last year. But I feel much better after seeing him bare it all in this steamy film. Hope I’m not revealing a dirty secret for him…but it’s such a sexy dirty secret!
Blake Nolan plays a straight guy who is at odds with the ‘missus – perhaps the first woman I’ve ever seen in a gay porno even though they don’t show her face. Nolan gives her a parting “Fuck you Christine,” as she leaves him alone in his motel room with only his thoughts to keep him entertained. Naturally he turns to homoerotic fantasies; what straight guy wouldn’t do so in a gay porno?
He imagines Bo getting picked up by Christian Volt on the side of a deserted road near Vegas. Bo is a brute of a guy with a wicked tan and tattoos, and looks a bit out of place in his bright red tank top and short jean shorts. Those shorts come in handy as he climbs into the car – he spreads his legs and out pops his ball sack! The two of them go back to a motel room and, surprising to me, Bo bottoms for Volt. A few scenes later we see Volt drop Bo off at a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. To follow is probably the hottest glory hole scene I can recall. We get to see some better close-ups of Bo’s chest and that amazing dragon tattoo across his back.
But let me wipe the stars out of my eyes for a second; Bo is in damn good company in this film. Edu Boxer is a hot little muscle bear who gets interrupted in the shower by Manu Maltes in the fourth scene. Baring a semi from playing with himself, Boxer gets a fright when the shower curtain in abruptly thrust open. Maltes eyeballs him for a moment before he grabs onto Boxer’s cock and coaxes him into the bedroom.
Eventually Blake’s fantasies come true as Mick Powers, big beefy and bearded, comes to join him in his room. And they screwed happily ever after. The end.

“Tap Out” by Butch Bear, Courtesy of Priape
This movie is set up like a secret underground wrestling club, each scene a different round with contestants facing off – the loser bottoms. Round one has Trojan Rock vs. Rocky Torrez and for the first few minutes they appear to be seriously wrestling. It all changes when Rock gets Torrez on his back and rubs his crotch in Torrez’ face. They struggle a bit more and Rock gets the upper hand again, coddling his opponent’s bulge with his mouth. Realizing it’s not so bad to lose, Torrez gives in and the two start kissing. Those wrestling suits are very easy to get around.
The main event is a showdown between Ross Taylor, a salt-and-pepper muscle daddy, and Erik Hunter, a beefy muscle-bound black guy. A side plot to their match is Johnny Donovan, a furry muscle-otter, washing up in the locker room…hmm, must have a really dirty cock for how much he scrubs it. He emerges in a towel to find Matthew Ford getting changed. Donovan walks boldly up to Ford and the two begin some heavy petting. Meanwhile Hunter is dominating in the ring, but I suspect Taylor is throwing the match…I would for too for Hunter in his black rubber shorts (assuming I had a choice).
The final scene is a little different from the first two, but I’ll let you discover that one for yourself.

“Side Effects” by TitanMen.com, Courtesy of Adult Depot
The first time I saw Tober Brandt was in Spyquest 2, where he played the creepy villain. He had contact lenses that made his pupils look odd, had something really strange going on with his facial hair, and…ugh…was suspended from the ceiling by hooks through his back flesh! This first impression didn’t make me like him at all, but as a regular looking guy in Side Effects, (if by regular you mean muscular and well endowed) he’s actually not bad at all!
Jake Deckard plays a psychiatrist who seems to specialize in homoerotic sex dreams. The first few scenes are visualizations of the dreams of two of his clients, as he listens to their tape recorded descriptions and takes notes. These will appeal to those into younger smooth-bodied guys like Brad Starr and Damon Demarco, although Diego De La Hoya did manage to drum up some interest for me in the first scene.
The clincher for fur lovers comes later on, when Brandt comes in for a one on one counseling session with Deckard. We see an adolescent fantasy involving young Brandt (Tony Bishop) and biker boy Zachary Pierce, then finally on to the grown men stuff. Deckard approaches his client who is on his back, eyes closed, on the psychiatrist’s bench. With his cock already hanging out, Deckard curtly tells Brandt, “open your eyes…suck my dick.”
The scene is amazingly hot – we see the two are muscular and covered in tattoos as they gradually undress one another. In particular, Brandt has trimmed fur across his chest and belly, and sports two large silver nipple rings. At a few points he uses his belt as a collar around Deckard’s neck, and Deckard does some interesting stuff with Brandt’s toes. But describing it here could not do the scene justice – go rent it!

“A Night at the Ramrod” by R.C. Men Productions, Courtesy of Adult Depot
The Ramrod: a leather and denim biker bar with Dan Rider, a cute muscle daddy, as their one and only bar tender. Talk about showing off your assets – he’s got a number of the guys sitting around the bar all riled up. Rider gets to show off his talent of being able to cum twice with only a two minute gap, as the puppy dog patrons fantasizes about the man.
The setting in this film is really cool. The fantasies take place in a room with stained glass windows, an old-fashioned fireplace and tile mural of a dragon, giving it medieval character that I found pretty appealing. The bar itself looks to have a country western theme, with a saddle and wagon wheel mounted on the walls.
Rider is the big name in this film, and in fact the only one I recognize from elsewhere. The other actors seem like average guys that you would see out at a bar, and possibly take home for some fun as happens in the third scene. They’re hard to categorize…not really hairy, but not smooth; not really old but not young. Aside from Dan Rider, only two others wear facial hair and those are the ones he plays with, if he is only as a figment of their imagination.
I can see this film being appealing to both fur lovers and those who prefer guys that are not-so-extreme in any direction of the spectrum.

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