I never thought an education in Computer Science would have brought me toward a better understanding of people. One would think the two were completely unrelated topics, since humans are not machines...but maybe that just depends on your definition of a machine. We are definitely not made of metal, nor do we speak in droning electronic voices, but we, like machines are at the mercy of our mechanical processes and repetitive cycles. This is how I see it; but brace yourself because this is a little deep…whoops, too late, it’s already written.
The basic building block of the human brain – the neuron – is very simple in itself. It receives a number of electrical input signals used to determine an output signal. A group of neurons “learn” by configuring themselves to connect with one another in a way that produces a desirable behavior. When an undesirable behavior is produced, the group of neurons will fine tune their connections to try matching what they can discern as being correct. Only experience will determine if this is actually the case. Larger groups of neurons are capable of learning more complex behaviors - and humans have a greater potential for intelligence than other animals simply because we have a larger quantity of neurons.
Computers are capable of simulating the behavior of a neuron, and the interactions of large groups of neurons to produce some pretty complex behaviors. But neural nets have to be trained – just like people have to be taught – through exposure to relevant material and reinforcement of the correct responses. Assuming infinite computer processing power and speed, there are two things that currently prevent a computer from reproducing human intelligence: 1) We do not yet understand how to recreate the initial footprint of instincts and pre-wiring that a human neural network is built around; 2) We cannot deliver the same chemical responses and perceptual abilities of a body to a computer, that would allow it to experience and learn from the world as we do. Even if these two things were overcome, it would take just as long to train an artificial mind as it takes to raise an actual human being. Perhaps it would degrade and be rendered useless after a long period of time, just like our minds eventually do.
On a greater scale, humans are the “neurons” in a larger organism. Like a self-adjusting neural network, society as a whole influences the behavior of its members. People become a reflection of those around them - if treated with patience, understanding and respect, they themselves will exhibit those qualities. If treated like worthless degenerate monsters, that is what they become. A boy beaten and abused by his father will grow up to be an abusive husband and father unless a significant positive influence intervenes in his life.
It boils down to the fact that human beings are a direct product of their life experience. Even when we think we’re being rebellious and going against the grain, pushing the boundaries of society, we are behaving exactly the way we have been programmed to. Every decision we make is based on our past experience – even the ones botched are a direct result. Society can put pressure on an individual to change their behavior but how can we ever hate them for being mistaken or different? Isn’t the culmination of biology, culture and circumstance as much to blame? The end result is that the individual changes to fit in, or they rearrange their relationships with others for better or for worse.
On a different note there are aspects in the progression of life similar to the course of Software Development. It is an iterative process where the programmer creates a program to perform a certain behavior. When the program actually executes, the programmer usually discovers a whole slough of behaviors that were not intended. Then it’s back to the drawing board to figure out what went wrong, fix the code and execute it again. Each cycle of fixing and testing is an iteration step, and it takes many before the program reaches the behavior that they intended. Sometimes fixing one problem introduces more, and fixing too many problems at once can cause the program to completely break down. Small steps are needed to verify that a design is becoming more robust, not exposing greater weakness.
As humans we undergo iterations as well. What determines the existence of the next generation is the ability of individuals in the human race to survive and procreate…there are plenty of breeders taking care of this for us, maybe a little too well. (As an aside, the world’s population has grown beyond our means to sustain everyone…perhaps we will see more and more gay people in future generations as nature’s response to this threat. I think this is a better alternative to bringing people into the world whose only fate is to die of disease, thirst and starvation.)
However, changes in society only occur ever so slightly, as the next generation is ushered in. The “rebellious phase” that most of us go through – the instinct that drives us to be as different from our parents and peers as we can – I see as nature’s assurance that there will be change on a societal scale too. It is an instinct that makes us resist some of what our elders tell us. When they are right we learn the hard way, otherwise we discover a shred of new territory that they never knew.
Despite this small step of innovation, we more often than not become our parents – perhaps it is the result of being exposed to similar experiences throughout life. That corporate suit that we swore we would never be? Perhaps it is the eventuality of life as a successful business person. But every now and then a free thinker comes along that finds a new and sustainable definition of success, and they change the world forever.
Nico Hofferd
We received the sad news early last month that our former writer Nico Hofferd had passed away. That someone can die so suddenly and without warning, still so young, is truly shocking - it is all too easy to take life for granted. Her close friend Shone Abet wrote an article for us to honour Nico’s memory – a difficult thing to do, summing a person up in a limited number of words (page 36).
Steve and I could not attend the funeral; however we sent flowers along with our deepest condolences to her family. They responded to thank us and wrote in the card, “Writing for your magazine gave her a lot of joy – we are very glad she had that in her life.”
Last Month
ARGRA was fabulous this year, with perhaps one of the largest turnouts we’ve seen. We rented an RV again this time, but managed to get a spot on the main grounds with the hookup we needed – power! The weekend consisted of Steve and I taking alternating shifts at the rodeo, and running back to the RV as we filled memory card after memory card with photos and videos. Boy did we ever get some cool shots (my personal favorite is the close-up picture of Chuck Browning with his shirt off), but sadly we can only publish a few of them in the magazine…for now. Once the day’s competitive events were over, we rushed back to the RV to put together the slide shows of photos and videos that were shown at the evening dances. The ARGRA volunteers received a great deal of praise on that front, which they were happy to pass along to us.
Our writer Jason and his boyfriend Brendon spent some time out at the rodeo as well. Brendon is a good head taller than Jason, and Jason is a pretty tall guy to begin with – the two of them together drew quite a bit of attention. They reported to us that the strangest comment or request that they received that weekend was to Brendon, “You’re so tall, can I see your belly button?”
At the Awards Ceremony we gave away our first buckle in Women’s Break-away Calf Roping to Ty, who was also the only contestant to place in the category. I often wonder how many buckle sponsors hope nobody places in their category so that they get to keep the award themselves. It feels like a Scooby-Doo moment – “And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you darn kids!”
Unfortunately somewhat of an indignity awaited us at the end of the weekend as we backed the RV off our camping site. As we had picked the vehicle up very near closing time for the rental company, they had been in such a rush to get us out that they neglected to mention that the black water valve comes initially open. Luckily most of the…stuff…remained stuck inside the tank, so we had only a small mess to clean. Argh.
Stampede was fun, though I didn’t do my usual regimen of rides. I can never get myself organized ahead of time to pick up one of those Magic Passes, and everything was so expensive. On the news they talked about bottles of water going for over $3 - you can buy a whole flat of bottled water for that price! We were there for Sneak-a-Peek night and saw some of Jann Arden’s performance on the Coca-Cola stage. We couldn’t help but snicker seeing all of the straight guys in the pink shirts and bandanas – some were tough enough, others just looked too gay. I’ll smack my own wrist for that one…it was for Breast Cancer awareness – bad Rob!
Speaking of Breast Cancer, Jane Doe Marketplace and Café held a silent auction back in June and Barb mailed me just recently to inform us of the totals. Due to some rather heated bidding wars, she was proud to announce that the event raised approximately $3000 toward her 60km walk in The Weekend to End Breast Cancer!
Later in the month I went out to Edmonton with Steve to check out Capital X, often described as Edmonton’s version of the Stampede. Naturally they had some very different exhibits from what we’re used to back at home – including a large butterfly tent where you can pay to enter and mingle with hundreds of living butterflies. They definitely seemed to like landing on certain people – usually with gray or brown shirts that looked like tree bark. Steve and I in blue jeans and black shirts did not receive as much attention, though one of the first to land on me picked my crotch as ground zero. Hah, just my luck.
This Month
August is traditionally the slowest month in the gay community with so many people away on holidays, but this long weekend has a number of special events happening at the bars…in Calgary at least. Keep an eye out for ads to this effect as you flip through this month’s magazine.
The West Canadian Pride Campout is also happening right away this August long weekend. We were planning to personally attend for the first time this year. Steve is developing a nasty flu as we’re getting the magazine to press, so we may have to play it by ear. I’m probably next.
Once again, August 6th is Steve’s birthday and our 6th anniversary together! At one point in the past, Steve was miffed about his brother dating his now-wife for over 6 years before they tied the knot…now look who’s talking!
Artists for Quality of Life has their 4th annual Cut-a-thon coming up on the 3rd of September, but watch for ads regarding the BBQ and Karaoke party at Money Pennies on August 19th and the Endless Summer Beach Party at the Backlot on September 1st.
Another interesting upcoming event is the Chili Cook-off competition being held in support of the HIV Peer Support group at the Calgary Eagle on Sunday September 2nd. Since Steve thinks of himself as a hot-shot in the kitchen, he’s seriously considering entering. The Eagle is also holding their 3rd annual Straight to Diva competition in support of HIV Peer Support – the meet and greet to be held September 15th and show night of October 19th.
Bar Banter
There’s this thing called “Common Courtesy” that we afford to people even when we don’t know them. I’m happy to say most people have it most of the time, though on a bad day it can be really easy (especially with a drink or two in you) to say or do mean things to random strangers.
This might come without repercussions in the straight world, where there are so many people in the city that you are unlikely to bump into that same person again. But the cross section of gay people that put themselves out there are too small for most people to get away with it - don’t piss in the water when you live in the swimming pool!
Gay people don’t have gangs that call on their “bruthas” to “bust a cap in yo’ ass” when you’ve “dissed” one of them – no, we’re much more civilized. We have social groups and cliques that will collectively ostracize you instead. Furthermore, with so few people willing to volunteer, often individuals belong to multiple businesses or groups. See, that random guy you told off is actually a member of group X and group Y, and thanks to the wonders of technology he will likely find out who you are and place you on the unspoken blacklist amongst the members of both groups. Scary, but all too likely…thank god no guns, but a queen’s strongest weapon has always been gossip. Don’t think you can get away with it by memorizing who’s who – these groups and social networks are constantly changing.
Though I can’t condone the ganging up, it’s still all the more reason to treat everyone you meet respectfully. Even if you have a bad day and you do something you regret then it’s best to apologize right away, knowing how fast information travels across the tell-a-fag network.
More importantly, don’t get mad all over again if you catch the information on the rebound. It’s typical for the person you pissed off to tell all their friends about what happened instantaneously, before you even have a chance to make reparations. Even if you settle the issue, you may still catch word about the original incident as it propagates - this can make the issue sound like it is still raw. Trust your first-hand knowledge above anything from the grapevine. If there is unfinished business, leave it up to them to tell you, not the rumor mill.
Who Made You the Center of the Universe?
I wrote a column about being proactive several months ago. Still I hear businesses saying, “if the non-profit groups want our help, they can come to us” and non-profit groups saying “if businesses want to help us, they can come to us.” Why? “I’m too busy running a business to see what the non-profit groups are about,” and likewise, “My non-profit group does so much for the community that everyone should know who we are and want to sponsor us.” The irony of it all is that both get resentful when neither goes to the other. You can argue about who is rightfully the center of the universe, or you can just admit you’re both wrong and spare yourself the righteous indignation and community stagnation. There’s so much that can be built when everyone is willing to put themselves out there with free and open lines of communication.
Speak your Mind!
We know you’ve got something to say because you say it to us when we are out in the community. In the course of a month we tell a lot of people, “that’s a really great thought, a great story, or some excellent feedback - you should write us a letter to the publisher to share it!” Unfortunately the letters rarely materialize. This is why, from now on when we’re out at the bars with our cameras and you’re telling us your stories, we will offer to take a video clip of you telling them. Think of it like the video-recorded opinion booths that are out there already (in far too small a number).
If you don’t want your face on camera then there is always the forum area on the GayCalgary.com website, which has been open for discussion about the things we write about in the magazine. We’d love to get more interaction going, because we can gear our articles better toward what’s on your mind. We do this already with the stories we’re told in person, but online is another powerful option. Visit forums.gaycalgary.com, set up a login and speak your mind!
We want to hear what YOU have to say about the topics in this article, and any other articles in our magazine. Visit the chat forums at www.gaycalgary.com and write your heart out! Or write us a letter to the publisher by E-mailing publisher@gaycalgary.com, and we may respond to it in the magazine!
