Breakfast on Pluto, Directed by Neil Jordan/2005
If you were to imagine Forrest Gump as an Irish tranny growing up in the 70s, then you’ve got a good idea what to expect from the lead character of Breakfast on Pluto. Patrick “Kitten” Braden is a poor orphaned boy left in a basket and watched over by kindly Father Liam (Liam Neeson). Hmm, Liam playing Liam, what are the odds? That would be like Cher playing a character named Cher. Back to the plot, Kitten is played by the beautiful Cillian Murphy whose androgynous appearance works to his advantage here as he grows from a scrappy cross-dressing lad to a glamorous wannabe seeking fame, fortune and her birthmother in London.
Kitten’s adventures are told as mini chapters from her memoir and are often narrated by sub-titled sparrows watching the action from above. Yes. That’s what I said. It’s a real “tweet”. To call Kitten naïve would be an understatement, and if I had any complaints about what is by and large a fantastically entertaining film, is that Kitten is incredibly frustrating and emotionally distant from everything and everyone around her, which makes it often times hard to sympathize with her trials. While tragedy abounds in Kitten’s life, it’s all just another exciting chapter in her memoirs.
Rating: 3 out of 4 leaf clovers
Goldfish Memory, Directed by Elizabeth Gill/2003
Before sitting down to watch this nifty indie gem on love and dating in Dublin, make sure you keep a pen and paper or an excel spreadsheet handy to keep track of the myriad of single characters looking for love in all the wrong people. The title refers to the concept that a goldfish has very little memory and so too do humans in love, who seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. For example, how many people do you know that have repeated disastrous relationships with much younger partners and swear every time to never again date someone younger? If you’re reading this right now and think I’m talking about you personally… I am.
I’m not about to get into each and every character in Goldfish Memory because there’s just way too many fish in this bowl. Let’s just say the film covers gay, bi, lesbian, straight, creepy, kinky, and conservative dating relationships between primarily young, white Dubliners who often overlap in their dating partners on their hunt for their soul mates.
The film also features a vibrant soundtrack that includes Damien Rice and The Frames.
Rating: 3 out of 4 leaf clovers
The Crying Game, Directed by Neil Jordan/1992
Ok, first off, I’m not THAT old however, I remember when this movie came out into theatres and the thing that had everyone buzzing was THE BIG SURPRISE! Well who doesn’t love a surprise? I’ll tell you who doesn’t. Stupid shop girls with big bangs who work at the mall where you’re about to go see a movie about a big surprise in an hour, but you stop at Woodwards (twinks can look it up on wikpedia) to buy a totally rad sweater and the shop girl decides to make small talk while she rings in your purchase. “Oh what movie are you gonna see?” I tell her. “Oh don’t go see that, it’s about a chick who’s really...INSERT SPOILER HERE.”
Needless to say I was pissed right off, put a Wiccan curse on shopgirl, and went to the movie anyway. (The curse worked btw, big bangs went out and Woodwards went bankrupt). In any case, the twist is a doozy and the movie is still worth watching even if you have the foresight to know what’s going to rock Stephen Rea’s world as a former IRA terrorist who promises to make amends with the girlfriend of one of his victims he had a hand in murdering. Look for Miranda Richardson as a mean, lean IRA killing machine, Forest Whitaker as a Brit, and Jaye Davidson as the lovely Dil who has so much to give to the right man.
4 out of 4 leaf clovers
Cowboys and Angels, Directed by David Gleeson/2005
Do not judge this DVD by its cover. You will get the impression that this is a nutty Irish comedy about a sexy straight boy, and the hijinx that ensue when he moves in with a flamboyant, but adorable gay fashion design student. Wrong! The movie starts out that way, with all the predictable clichés that include gay roomie falling for breeder roomie but, then he starts boffing the blonde babe upstairs, and starts dealing drugs with a seedy underworld gang. After a particularly unpleasant hour or so of watching a downward spiral, our straight eye candy gets by with a little help from his friends, and cleans up in time to star in his roommate’s fashion show.
Gag.
1 out 4 leaf clovers
Matt Salton is the festival director of the Fairy Tales International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival in Calgary. He can be reached for comment at reelpublicity@yahoo.ca
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