Dear Nina,

I am faced with a huge disaster.  My family recently found out I was gay and kicked me out of the house! They have almost shut me out completely. My family has been my backbone and I was always afraid that if I told them this would happen. I guess I was right! My father will not say a word to me, and my mother looks at me with such disappointment. I was supposed to carry on the family name. How do I fix this?

Home Wrecked

Dear Home Wrecked,

And how long did you expect this little secret to stay a secret? Well you are out and now you have to deal with the fallout.  This queen will tell you this is a very delicate matter. Your Mom just found out that there will be no wedding for her only son (at least not to a woman), nor will she be expecting any grandchildren, and let me tell you, to a mother that is her great reward for raising you!! Your mother has now been denied the right to see you suffer with child as she did with you.

I would think to some degree that this must be a huge weight off your shoulders.  In the mean time, be patient – you have already had the time to accept who you are as a gay man, and now they must do the same. It could be as early as tomorrow or it may take years. The old saying goes "give it time", so give them the time, space, and respect they require.  You also need to be available to enlighten them on your own acceptance. If they see you are happy, they will eventually get on board.  Happiness is what every parent, no matter how horrible, wants for their child. This is the hard part for both you and your family, but show them who you really are and let them come to terms with their issues. Be prepared this isn’t going to be a walk in the park. I would say "buckle your seat belts its going to be a bumpy ride" but certainly one worth taking.

Best of luck,

Yours truly Nina

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